Due to the horrific destruction from Hurricane Sandy that’s resulting in power outages and other disruptions to the national elections, changes have been announced in the voting procedures. Please note: To accommodate the anticipated surge of voter interest it is announced that Democrats only will vote on Tuesday, November 6, 2012 and all Republicans will vote on Wednesday, November 7, 2012. The staggering of voting days is intended that elections personnel will be able to handle the expected surge in voters following the storm of the century.
Special staffing of voting places will be arraigned by the states; special refreshments will be made available, including watermelon and chitterlings on Tuesday and free beer and bratwurst on Wednesday. Voter ID will be required pursuant to state law and paid up membership in the NAACP or Klux Klux Klan will be accepted. All hoodies and white sheets must be checked at the door for retrieval after voting.
Disregard any and all information that conflicts with this announcement. Democrats will vote Tuesday, November 6, 2012 and Republicans on Wednesday, November 7, 2012. Voters who plan to vote a mixed ticket of Democrats and Republicans may vote either day, Tuesday or Wednesday, but they will not be eligible for free refreshments. Be sure to vote!